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The Truth About Being a Military Spouse: The Struggles, the Strength, and the Support You Deserve

  • Jun 11
  • 9 min read

Updated: Jun 15

I’ve been a military spouse for over 13 years, and I am incredibly proud of my husband and the work he does for our country. Being a military spouse has truly been an amazing, eye-opening, and life-changing experience. Over the years, I’ve had the opportunity to live in multiple states and countries. I’ve immersed myself in diverse cultures, tasted some of the world’s best cuisines, and swam in some of the clearest, most beautiful oceans you could ever imagine. I’ve also met some of the most incredible, resilient, and inspiring people along the way, people who’ve become lifelong friends and chosen family.

As rewarding as this lifestyle has been, it hasn’t come without its challenges. Being a military spouse is a full-time commitment in itself. We adapt quickly, we uproot often, and we support our service members through everything—from deployments to transitions and relocations. And although I feel honored and blessed to serve in this role, I can’t ignore the struggles that come with it.

Currently, there are over one million military spouses in the United States, which includes those married to active duty, Reserve, and National Guard members. To all of you: I see you, I appreciate you, and I thank you for your service. Now let’s take a deeper look at the statistics that reveal just how challenging this life can be, especially when it comes to employment.

The unemployment rate among military spouses is five times higher than the national average—sitting at about 21%. Even more troubling is that around 24% of military spouses are underemployed, meaning they’re working jobs that don’t match their education, skill level, or potential. About 90.3% of military spouses are women, and many of us are forced to turn to self-employment or entrepreneurship to maintain career continuity. I’m one of them.

The longest I’ve been able to stay at any job has been 2.5 years. By the time I get hired and get settled, it’s already time to PCS (Permanent Change of Station) again. My resume is filled with employment gaps and short-term roles, which makes it hard to compete in the traditional job market. This experience has inspired me to become a resource and advocate for other military spouses.

There are so many resources out there that I wish I had known about early on, programs that could have helped me stay competitive and connected. That’s why I believe one of the best things we can do as military spouses is to keep our skills and knowledge current. Take advantage of educational programs, certifications, and remote opportunities whenever possible. You may not have 3, 5, or even 10 years of continuous job experience, but you can absolutely have the qualifications and confidence to show up strong in any interview.

The knowledge you gain is yours forever, no one can take it from you. Everything I share from here on out is based on years of research, trial, and personal experience. I’ve compiled it all so it’s easier for you to access, and I hope it empowers you to move forward with confidence.


Resources for Military Spouses

As a military spouse, I’ve learned that navigating your own goals while supporting your service member isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely possible. Over the years, I’ve moved across states and countries, balanced parenthood, and restarted my career more times than I can count. I created this list based on real-life research, trial and error, and personal use. These resources have helped me, and I hope they help you too.


My Career Advancement Account

MYCAA is a workforce development program that provides up to $4,000 in financial assistance towards an associate’s degree, pursuit or maintenance of a license or a professional certificate. I used MYCAA for a certification as well as an associates degree. And it has proven very valuable. It’s a great starting point for military spouses to jump start their career.


Helpful Links for additional information:


FINRA Foundation

FINRA offers a fellowship program for military spouses, the FINRA Foundation Military Spouse Fellowship Program. It allows military spouses to obtain an Accredited Financial Counselor Certification completely free of charge.  You can apply for the program staring March 1 through April 15th of each year.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Association for Financial Counseling & Planning Education

AFCPE is one of my favorite opportunities. They are a non-profit organization that partners with MYCAA and offers an Accredited Financial Counseling Program to become a designated Accredited Financial Counselor. They offer 5 Pathways to obtain the credential. I chose the Self-Study Pathway using MYCAA scholarship, which I believe is the program many military spouses select. Everything was covered by MYCAA except the $75 out of pocket cost.  AFCPE also offer their own scholarships and grants as well. The organization provides great community support and ongoing professional development, which I found extremely encouraging as a spouse trying to build a sustainable career.


Helpful Links for additional information:


National Military Family Association

The National Military Family Association offers scholarships ranging from $500 - $2,500 for eligible military spouses. I applied for this scholarship as well.


Helpful Links for additional information:

 

Affordable Online Associate Degrees

St Louis Community College – STLLC

One of the most affordable online associate degrees that I’ve found was for STLCC.  This is where I obtained my associate’s degree in accounting. Their tuition is around $125 per credit hour, and they offer four 100% online programs:

·         General Transfer Studies, Accelerated

·         Accounting

·         Business Administration

·         and Computer Accounting Technology

I always recommend STLCC to friends starting their education journey. Their programs are flexible, fully online, and ideal for spouses who need a budget-friendly option.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Colleges that offer Military Discounts for Spouses

University of Maryland Global Campus - UMGC

When it comes to UMGC I am kind of biased. UMGC helped me obtain my bachelor’s in finance at an affordable cost. During PCS moves, deployments and being a parent it made completing my degree possible and flexible. UMGC is a well-known university that was created to help better serve military members with educational needs. They offer a wide range of programs, including 135 degrees and certificates 100% online. They offer a lot of benefits for military spouses, including scholarships and reduced military tuition rates. Tuition rates for undergrad degrees are $250 per credit hour and $366 per credit hour for graduate degrees. Making them one of the most affordable online educational institutions. They also partner with MYCAA for an associate degree, licenses or certifications.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Columbia Southern University – CSU

CSU is another well-known educational institution that is military friendly. They offer a variety of 100% online programs. They are also partners with MYCAA.  The scholarship they offer military spouses include:

·         The Air Force Aid Society Merit Scholarship

·         The Hero Behind the Hero Scholarship

·         and The Post 9/11 GI Bill Transferability.

They offer a 10% tuition discount for military spouses. Undergraduate tuition, with the discount, is around $250.20 per credit hour and Graduate tuition being $323.21 per credit hour.

Helpful Links for additional information:


Hiring Our Heroes

Hiring our Heroes has a lot of resources for military spouses from remote fellowships, that provide networking, professional training and hands-on experience in the civilian workforce to small business grants for military spouses that own their own business. Applications for the small business grant are due February 28th of each year and presented in spring. Fellowships offered are:

·         Corporate Fellowships

·         Military Spouse Fellowships

·         and Skills-Based Fellowships

They hold hiring events and offer a multitude of digital resources as well.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Military One Source

Military OneSource is a U.S. Department of Defense program that provides resources and support to active-duty, National Guard, and Reserve service members and their families. The website is where you will be bombarded with resources and valuable information. This should be the first site you visit to learn the most. It partners with most of the other resources I’ve listed. Military OneSource offers so many different programs for career and education, along with family and relationship resources and even self-care resources. This website literally has answers to everything you will need to know about military life, it links to SECO, MyCAA, resume building tools, and even free tax software and so much more.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Department Of Defense (DOD) Civilian Careers

The DOD Civilian Careers offers diverse civilian career opportunities in multiple fields, with competitive pay, excellent benefits, and the chance to play a vital role in supporting national security. They offer multiple programs for career opportunities that give preferences to military spouses. They also offer a fellowship program that partners with Hiring Our Heors, these programs include:

·         The Career Forward Fellowship,

·         The HOH internship programs,

·         and The Hiring Our Heroes initiative.

The DOD also offers the Spouse Education and Career Opportunities (SECO) Program. The program delivers education and career guidance to military spouses around the world, offering free, comprehensive resources and tools to support their professional and educational goals. It also provides free career coaching services six days a week.


Helpful Links for additional information:


USA Jobs

USA Jobs also partners with Department Of Defense (DOD) Civilian Careers. This is probably my favorite job site because it offers Military Spouse Preference (MSP) for a lot of jobs. Which is a huge benefit for military spouses. The program provides employment preference for spouses of active-duty military members who relocate with their sponsors. They also have a Non-Competitive Hiring Process Program, where military spouses may qualify to apply for federal positions through a non-competitive hiring process. This special hiring authority allows eligible spouses to be considered for roles within federal agencies without having to navigate the traditional competitive application process, making it easier to secure federal employment.


Helpful Links for additional information:


Remote Work

Remote work is crucial for military spouses. Due to constant relocation and PCSing, remote work gives military spouses the opportunity for long term career and growth within the same company. It offers stable employment and better employment opportunities as well. There are many organizations that partner with the military to ensure military spouses get priority in employment along with remote employment opportunities.

The Office of Personnel Management released a memorandum titled "Guidance on Exempting Military Spouses and Foreign Service Spouses from Agency Return to Office Plans” on Feb 12, 2025. Stating that federal civilian employees that are military spouses as well are exempt from the return-to-work mandate.


Helpful Links for additional information:

 

Thank You

I know firsthand how tough it can be to find your footing when life feels like it’s always shifting. Between deployments, PCS moves, raising kids, and everything in between, it's easy to put your own goals on the back burner. But the truth is, you deserve to grow too.

These resources have helped me through some really uncertain times, whether it was going back to school, trying to land a flexible job, or just figuring out what the next step looked like. I hope they can do the same for you.

Start where you are. Apply for that scholarship. Look into that program. Even the smallest step forward matters.

If no one has told you lately: you’re doing an amazing job. And you’re not in this alone. Someone is looking up to you and proud of you.

You've got this, and I'm cheering for you all the way.


Warmly,

Shannon Cobb

Founder, Noir Financial Literacy LLC

Military Spouse • Accredited Financial Counselor • Advocate

 

Citations

AFCPE® | FINRA Foundation Fellowship – AFCPE site – education page

Serving Military Families Since 1969 – National Military Family Association site

Meet STLCC: Education That Changes Lives – St. Louis Community College (STLCC) homepage 

Online Classes and Programs – STLCC online education page

Fellowships - Hiring Our Heroes – Hiring Our Heros site

Partners - Hiring Our Heroes – Hiring Our Heros site

myseco.militaryonesource.mil – SECO Home Page

USAJOBS - Search – USA JOBS Home Page

 
 
 

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